Mark One worked very well but that the printing on the junk mail was reflected in the windscreen. Clearly a good use for black duct tape.
Jim's weapon is a very famous one, this is the air rifle my father used, completely unsuccessfully, for years in his attempts to stop the depredation of squirrels and pigeons in his vegetable patch. Its new owner has carried on this family tradition of not being able to hit anything BUT he has recognised that the sights on the ordinance may have been a factor in its ineffectiveness. They are now much improved with a bit of simple LOM ingenuity.
In the 1950s, family holidays meant camping and we had a very substantial ex-army tent to do it. It took the combined efforts of dad and me just to lift the heavy canvas from the trailer. One year, we headed for a three week excursion to Scotland. Dad would take his full holiday entitlement for our summer break and would always enquire whether we would prefer either three weeks camping or ONLY one week in an hotel. Mother's look should have been enough to convince him to take the one week option but dad would rather have been camping for any length of time rather than staying in an hotel.
So we set off for Scotland and the nearer we got the more aware we were of people returning from their Scottish holidays, this was before motorways so one was always aware of vehicles coming in the other direction on narrow single carriageway roads. [It was the custom then to wave at people driving the same make of car as yourself] Many of these returning holidaymakers bore evidence of their visits by emblems on their cars, like bunches of lucky white heather and fake flying haggisses and the like. A theme though was to have some sort of deer's antler strapped to the front of the car. Observing these appurtenances provided some welcome relief to the tedious drive north.
Of course, once we crossed the border, we started to look out for a suitable adornment for our car. We found plenty of antlers for sale, in antique shops and in huntin', shootin' and fishin' shops but all were beyond our modest means.
I did find however, in a back corner of an antique shop, an antler chair with moulding green upholstery and dusty antlers. I was forbidden even the slightest thought that this could accompany me home though I lusted after it tremendously.
After week two it was beginning to look as though our hopes of joining the antler-be-decked cavalcade were to be thwarted, however, we were camped by the side of Loch Morlich in the Caingorms and on the day we climbed Cairngorm, we found a sheep's skull and this combined with driftwood from the loch and some [ordinary] heather from the mountainside provided our entree into the homecoming club.
I have been back to Aviemore many times since then but it bears absolutely no resmblance now to how it was then. To quote from their website, linked in this paragraph, 'Aviemore is a well known and popular holiday destination with beautiful scenery and an abundance of things to do for all ages.' well when we first went there there was absolutely NOTHING to do, in the way that they mean now, but it was a beautiful and unspoiled place.
Nothing for it but to sweep up the bits and make abject apologies to tw on his return. This was a sad loss as this gnome was a friendly little person and had been slowly working his way up the lawn to the house all summer.
I have just been up to stay with him again and I find that the saga has moved on. Apparently, Adham was admiring the sqash when it jumped from his hands and did its best to trash the refrigerator. Its worst depredations were halted however but not before it had manged to break the plastic moulding round the top of the door.
Then Tanya moved in and suggested that replacing the interior light in the refrigerator might make it possible to see what it might be concealing. This was duly done though whomsoever thought that 50 watts was a good power specifiction for a refrigerator light is not clear to me.
This small improvement led to some unexpected effects, like the arrival of a larger than expected electricity bill and the mysterious cooking of previously raw meat on the top shelf. So it was discovered that the malevolent squash had broken the mechanism to switch the interior light on and off.
Of course it took some good little old man sleuthing to discover whether the modified switch was working properly, by putting the mobile phone in the refrigerator on video record mode and then shutting the door on it to see if the light went out or not or you could rent a gnome.
Then a modification was needed to activate the door switch through the liberal use of Duck tape and a cider bottle crown cap. [Thank goodness Tanya drinks cider as a weakly Red Stripe ring pull would not have been up to the job.
Eventually, harmony was restored and the malevolent squash was transformed into dinner.